Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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