Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize