Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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