I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize