im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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