ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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