wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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