I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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