if i can run in heels then i can drive
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
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i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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