if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize