The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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