That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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