I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize