Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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