he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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