Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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