Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize