So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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