You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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