is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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