New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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