My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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