Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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