the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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