saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
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and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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