This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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