just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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