My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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