My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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