it was like his penis was on wheels.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
All the doctor said was why
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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