He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize