She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You may now shotgun with the bride
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I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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