some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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