if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize