You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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