Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize