Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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