He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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