evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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