I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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