yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
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Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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