True but thats because hes a fetus.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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