did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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