I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize