he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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