i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
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U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Your shirt... Was in my pants
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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