dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
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There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
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Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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