Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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