I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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