what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize